When I look back on my testimony 14.5 years of drugs and alcohol and trying to fill all the voids with all the things that didn't work,
um,
after I asked Jesus into my heart,
everything changed and
I don't know I'm still trying to figure it out.
I'm still trying to I'm still I'm still real time trying to figure out like I scratch my head in the morning and some mornings I'm just like
what has happened to me like what what is going on like and
and some mornings I feel crazy and other mornings I'm just like yes I'm a child of God.
And I'm changed and I'm good
um
but I know without a doubt that it's Jesus
who saved my life.
Your farm is gorgeous.
This is the question I want to start off with.
Do you ever get tired of being introduced as Ben Fuller,the former addict?
Um,
Yeah
you do yeah I do.
Maybe it bothers me so much because I.
Know that I'm a child of God,
you know,and so it's like the former just anything to do with the former,yeah,
yeah,they started off on the wrong foot.No,but the former me is just like,well,I,I,I just heard someone say this the other day too at AA and they were just like
they were talking about that and like,hey,you know,I,
um,you know I'm a drug addict,you know,it's like no you're not
you're actually a child of the most high God and and you used to be that person
and so I,but it's the funny thing about telling my testimony night after night after night.
On all these stages is that
the Lord is like slowly building so much good stuff that I don't want to even talk about the bad anymore
because I'm just like yeah I spent 14.5 years in in addiction,
but
Jesus saved my life and so let's talk about the miracles that he's just done last night,
you know what I mean?
So I don't know it doesn't offend me but it's just like that person,that man is dead.
Well I think so much of the stuff that people know about you already has been your story coming from addiction,
being saved by Jesus,turning your life around.
But I also think too,Ben,so this is my,this is I was trying to get into your head
as you share your testimony,I was an addict.
I'm no longer,praise God,
to the person that's sitting on the edge of your concert that is an active addiction.
Does that introduction actually kind of go,I want that kind of testimony?I have to believe that there are people in the crowd that have something that they're going through and it could be
cocaine,alcohol,
porn,whatever it is and it's just like,hey.
Here I am.
Jesus has changed my life.I don't understand at all.I don't really know if I need to understand it all,but I know that I called on his name
and I've been changed.
I was this way and now I'm this way
and so I,yeah,
I,I have to believe that there are people in the crowd that are like.
I wanna have that,but it doesn't discredit the people that don't have that,you know what I mean,that don't have that story that are in the that are in the crowd that just came that are like,oh my goodness,I don't have this grand testimony
of
wow,I've been delivered from 14.5 years of addiction,but it,I,I think it does encourage them to know that God is working a mighty ways still right now.OK,can we talk about the tattoos?It's funny.I started getting tattoos probably 17 or 18 years ago.
I remember coming home with like the right on the shoulder.
And I showed,
yeah,and I showed Mom,it's like a farm.It's actually a farm.It's a barn.
I have a barn on my mom's precious and a maple tree,
uh,and so my mom saw it and was just like,you better not show your father that.
And I remember that like I don't know whether I was like getting dressed or I'd take my shirt off to throw hay or something my dad saw it and was just like.
What is that?
Are you gonna that what is like he was mad
and then I remember I got another one
and it was,it was just hidden like just above a short sleeve
so I could hide it again and mom's like how much further you going?
How much and I'm like,I think that's it probably you know and then anyway,so
here I am here uh
but I,
I don't know I feel like
the tattoos that I've gotten recently have been.
I mean,Hebrews 10 says we've been made holy in Christ Jesus.
I got Jesus on my left hand.I got the line of Judah on my right,
and I just.
I've done more ministry with my tattoos and said absolutely nothing
than um I I anyway it just constantly blows me away because I can go
one story in particular reminds me um I paid for gas.I slit a $20 bill
across the um counter and this woman said holy.
Like what,what,what are you holy like what are you holy or something and I showed her and I was like,yeah,
I've been made holy in Christ Jesus like
my life has been changed because and she's and she's like,
how?
And all of a sudden it was like and she just got done smoking a cigarette and it and it just like
started this incredible
testimony conversation she started sharing.I started sharing.
And it was just it was just real
so I love it
um and I just tell people they're marks of life and not marks of death.
So
yeah,
anyway,
OK,let's talk about your parents.
I love my mom and dad so much and I have seen them grow
so,so much in the last couple of years and I remember when I gave my life to Christ and I made it public
November 10th,2019,
I come out of the water.
And
I remember like the messages of like hey what are you like you know it's kind of like what are you so what are you doing?Like what's going on with you baptized you know you're baptized when you're a baby like what what's going on and then
they started hearing me sing about Jesus I was like yeah you know like I I I just
I fell in love with Jesus like I'm gonna sing about Jesus from now on
and uh I'm just not living this lifestyle anymore so like I think mom and dad kind of were like.
OK,he's sober now like that's good we knew he was drinking too much.They didn't know about my drug addiction until actually a podcast after I got saved.I was a master of disguise
and I could hide in plain sight
and so I think that's the scariest thing about addiction
is that you have no idea and unless you're you have someone really close to you who can read you like a book and who really knows you
like I just walked around hiding it from everybody,
you know,and it took my best friend's life.
And so it's like why wasn't it me,you know,
but I,I'm witnessing my mom and dad
now see the honesty and the vulnerability and the transparency and it's like it's Jesus,
it's Jesus with Ben.
I it's Jesus and now they're listening to like sidewalk prophets and they're listening to Big Daddy Weave and Carrie Underwood loves Jesus and and they're they're seeing all this and they're like,what is it about
Jesus?Like what is it about his name?
Who is he?
And so I'm watching them like
dig in more and more and more so I don't know if they've accepted him.I I don't know where they stand with him,but I have to believe
God has done a mighty work in their lives.Well,you,you're targeting them in your songs.
Yeah,because what's the song on this album where you said,you know,
my daddy doesn't pray,but he hums along.
My daddy don't pray,but he'll hum my songs.
And uh it's a song called You'll see what I mean
and so it's basically just like hey if you call in the name of Jesus like
you'll see what I mean
um yeah I hope he I I've never heard my dad sing before.
Um,but I,I've always heard him hum and so yeah,that's where that line
came from.I heard whispers of the story,
not just the song,but a moment that you had
with your dad.
Can you tell me first person because I feel like I heard it like in a gossip room in a cafeteria,but I want to hear from you what happened.
Um,
I wrote a song called Proud
with um Casey Beford
and,um,Casey lost his son here in Nashville
a few years back,
um,in a freak accident
and uh we.
We were scheduled to write a song and.
He walked in the room,he sat down.I mean his reputation preceded him.I knew who he was.
And he looked at me and he said,
how's your relationship with your father?
Oh boy,uh,
and.
The tears came,the story came,
and I told him everything,and then he just looks at me and he said,Well,
Um,
he guess he,he said,I guess making your father proud looks a whole lot different now,doesn't it?
And I was just like oh my gosh so we wrote this song called Proud
and it basically is like I couldn't understand my dad right growing up we had a tough relationship
his dad never said I love you so therefore he didn't share that it was just this generational thing passed down,right?
And
all of a sudden.
I've accepted Christ.Everything's changed.I realized I have a father in heaven who loves me so very much
and I can write about it and share
and so even though I couldn't understand my father here on earth and figure it all out,
I now knew that I had a father in heaven who loved me so very much
and so I got to sing that song and my dad was in the crowd.
And you wanna talk about emotional.I could barely even I could barely even get a the
the opening line is he never hit me with his fists,but he did some damage with his words.
And it was just like and I saw my dad just like look at me
and um.
Right as I finished the song,I was getting ready to take my guitar off
and Holy Spirit said go hugging.
And um
he stood up first
and he walked down the aisle
and he met me halfway
and um and he gave me a hug and he said I love you
and uh
it's like whoa
it's powerful that's that's what God has restored.Yeah,yeah.
He is our restoration and our healing.
Thanks for getting me emotional on the farm.
here we are back on the farm again mosquitoes.
OK,well let's move on and talk about your brand new album.
You've got so many songs on this album.I've got so many questions,
but I saw,I think I saw a sneak peek of this image.
There's a fire.
You're burning something in it.
So can we do this?We're on your beautiful property.Can we make a campfire?
And can you tell me the story of what you were burning in that fire?Um,did you bring s'mores?No,I've got some.
Let's go.
Let me forget
that I'm nothing without you.
Well Jesus
You're all I'm holding on.
let me lose sight of how
Mm.
You're the reason I'm blessed.Jesus,don't let me.
Don't let
Lord,
don't let me.
Oh,
don't let me forget.
So good,
so good.
OK,we made the fire
we made the fire.There's remnants of boots or something.Tell me the story.
Tell me the story of what was burning on the cover of this album.
I
moved to Nashville
in the fall of 2018
for country music
and
that's what I wanted to sing that's what I was gonna do
I was gonna
prove something
to everybody and.
Um,I got here and God had other plans for me.
But those boots
are so special
they were
so special
um
but they walked me down to Broadway
um
from parking garage after parking garage
and um
stumbled me
back to my truck
day after night after day of um
looking and seeking and
wondering you know what was next.
And so,um,when it came time to talk about like the album cover
what we were gonna do all these things well these boots have been on my heart and I've had them resold like 5 times,right,
because I've worn holes in the bottom and um
it just kept,
kept literally coming to me like.
Man,
God has put brand new boots on my feet.
Like
he,he's walking me to places that I've never been.He's taking me to places that I only dreamed of.
It's time to it's time to say goodbye to the old boots and so I prayed about it and I was like all right Lord,these are my favorite boots,but it was just like
there's something just prophetic about like hey you know what these boots have taken me places that I'm not proud of and things that that I've done that I'm not proud of but it's like the old is gone.
And it was just part of this like stepping into the new for me
and uh
so yeah Lord's got me new boots,new boots
new boot kicking so we
we burned them yeah we we literally and it was so funny because it was like,are people gonna think that that it's like AI or something that you just like you know like digitally made them burn,but it's like no we.
We really,we really,we black smoke coming off it was nasty,yeah,we really burned it,but it was just,it was so beautiful also because it was just like,
OK,Lord,like.
I'm stepping into new territory and things and it's with you
um so yeah it's that's where that all came from.I think a lot of people then they hear your story,you know,there's just a joy about you
and they might ask that question of like how do I get that joy.
What have you learned in your journey?
Um,uh,it's happened so long and so short I think all at once,but,
um.
The title track is Walk Through Fire,you know,
and the hook is thank God I had to walk through fire.
And so when I look back on my testimony of 14.5 years of drugs and alcohol and
Just,just trying to fill all the voids with all the things that didn't work
um after I asked Jesus into my heart,everything changed and
so I,I just knew without a doubt that it was him you know
and um I don't know I'm still trying to figure it out.I'm still trying to I'm still I'm still real time trying to figure out like I scratch my head in the morning and some mornings I'm just like
what has happened to me like what what is going on like.
And and some mornings I feel crazy and other mornings I'm just like yes I'm a child of God
and I'm changed and I'm good
um
but I know without a doubt that it's Jesus who saved my life and so I would.
Anybody who sees or hears this story.
About what God has done for me,I,I,I think
I would just ask them to ask him,
yeah,I would,I would,I would just say ask him
and watch him
because
because he did it because he's doing it for me yeah you know.
One of the things that you've talked about pretty openly um as you've come
to walk with Jesus is that you've chosen celibacy and sobriety
and
those seem to be things of the past,right?And so this new man,this new creation.
Um,
Why those two things that you value as you walk forward with Jesus?
oh my goodness,um.
I think they're the things that um.
That came in that that I held closest
like as I walked the old me did
um
and
when I accepted Christ
and I said Jesus come into my heart and change my life,right?Romans 10:9,believe in your heart and confess with your mouth when I did that.
I,there was just a massive conviction inside of me that was just like stop treating women like that,
um,stop doing drugs stop drinking like don't do those things,Ben like I don't like it.It hurts me and so I was like uh and so
over the course of two months,like those things just left and I,
I had made the decision that I was all in for Jesus and I was just like,Lord,
here I am,
um,and so it's such a weird thing because it was.
In all those things I was so
broken and looking,
you know,and I promised God that when I got saved.
That I would look at the 16 year old Ben
who had a gun in his mouth who didn't want to live anymore and I was,I,I could say to them now standing on this platform after God has given me the the gifts and and and and and shown me that it was him all along that I can look at them and say that
don't waste your time on sleeping around.
Don't waste your time on drugs and alcohol and all the things that that will not
fix you.
They won't.
I'm 38 years old.
I didn't come to Christ until I was 32.
Like it took me 32 years to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I had no idea who he was.
And then I heard and everything changed
and so it's just been a joy for me to tell people
and to to to show people what he's done for me and so my hope and encouragement is just that the younger me you know the the kids,the younger Bens out there would be like,
OK,he's done that and it didn't work I'm I'm gonna not do that
because it didn't help him any you know I was listening to your song Deeper Still.
Because I had to figure out,I've been seeing on your social media you keep digging all these ditches everywhere and I'm like which song is all those holes for so I was listening to Deeper Still.
You're gonna have to correct me on the lyric,
but it was basically at the end of my strength I found Jesus.
All I needed it for my strength to run out,
not my weakest.He was waiting.
To pick me up where I fell because his love goes deeper
all goes deeper still,
yeah.
There's this sense of like
we find Jesus at the end when we just
like
give it all up.
Yeah
But I think too often in my life,I don't know about other people's lives,but like we're constantly scrambling
like for God,
honestly,like,you know,like,I'll I'll figure it out.I'll hustle a little bit harder,God.I'll figure it out,I'll clean myself up.
So that
that full surrender doesn't come.
What have you experienced in that when you put those lyrics in that song?
Back to the hole digging.
I've dug so many holes in my life.Like literal holes or what are we talking about?Like,
yeah,
but I was uh.
I landscaped
and you know for 15 years
so I planted trees
so I dug hole after hole after hole
but I also dug hole after hole after hole
and relationships and places that I shouldn't have been digging
and so that's where.
With my addiction,you know,
that's where all the whole digging came from and then I realized like wait a minute.
It was I was trying to be so strong,right?I was physically strong.I was trying to be,
but
in my weakness he was waiting
to pick me up where I fell
like I didn't have to be strong after all
and in fact it all happened
when I just like you said,surrendered
and let it all go and put the shovel down
is was when I finally realized it was him,
so yeah we could probably save so much time.
Just let it go.
Wasn't it amazing that the,
the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony like.
And that's just why I pray and and everywhere I go and get a chance to tell my story of what God has done for me and allowed me to put the shovel down and
and it and it's and it and he digs it's his right?he
he he makes it all now like it's it's it's all his
and before I was trying to make it all mine
that's my prayer that is you bring these songs
to
the hearts and minds of people Ben that people find freedom.
And they find Jesus,yeah.
You know it's those things like God gives you these things and he's given these songs and right we prayed and they come and all of a sudden they just fall out and and and you write them with the most talented people and the most talented producing and the most talented musicians and all the things and all of a sudden it's like I haven't even had a chance to really fully realize what God has done
through this music yet like and so I still need to like go back and listen.
It's like what?like what what what are you?and then and then like in the song Who I Am
God told me for almost 4 years after I've been singing it
like I was telling you your identity
this whole time that you're a child of the most high God but it actually didn't physically set into to my brain until almost 4 years after I wrote the song
so it I can't even
again moving forward it's like I'm
who knows some of these songs may take years to even hit me.
You know,and,but,
but isn't that God
like he plants those seeds and then it comes to bear years down the road
and things come and uh we finally have the maturity or the heart that God gives us that time to see those things.
So
yeah,my prayer is that God would you take this album
uh
and would you set the captives free,God.
Those that are struggling and hustling and those that are doing it in their own strength,God,would you remind them and maybe for the very first time that they would know deeply in their hearts their identity
um that they are your child God and that they can fall completely and utterly surrendered
to you.
We bless you,God.We thank you for all of these gifts that you have given to him.
Amen.
If nothing else I'll sing.
To an empty room.
More than anything.
I just want you.
So set the roof on fire.
Let my love break through.
If nothing else I'll see.
I sing for you.
How
For you
Perfect.